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{{Infobox Chapter ACfK
 
{{Infobox Chapter ACfK
| pov = [[Tyrion Lannister|Tyrion]]
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| pov = [[Tyrion Lannister]]
| place        = [[King's Landing]]
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| place        = [[King's Landing]] - [[Red Keep]]
 
| title = Tyrion IV
 
| title = Tyrion IV
 
| page = 192
 
| page = 192
Line 11: Line 11:
 
}}
 
}}
  
[[Tyrion Lannister|Tyrion]] meets with Grand Maester [[Pycelle]], [[Petyr Baelish|Littlefinger]], and [[Varys]], and gives each a secret plan. To Pycelle gives a message to be sent to Prince [[Doran Martell]] in strictest confidence. To Littlefinger he gives a plan for a proposal to wed [[Myrcella Baratheon|Myrcella]] to [[Robert Arryn]] along with giving [[Lysa Tully|Lysa]] the true killer of [[Jon Arryn]]. To [[Varys]] he gives the proposal of sending [[Tommen Baratheon]] to the Pince of Dorne along with the killers of his sister [[Elia Martell|Elia]].
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[[Tyrion Lannister|Tyrion]] meets with [[Grand Maester]] [[Pycelle]], [[Petyr Baelish|Littlefinger]], and [[Varys]] in turn, and gives each a secret plan. To Pycelle, he gives a secret letter for Prince [[Doran Martell]]; to Littlefinger, a plan to give [[Lysa Arryn]] her [[Jon Arryn|husband]]'s killer and wed Princess [[Myrcella Baratheon|Myrcella]] to [[Robert Arryn]]; and to [[Varys]], a plan to give Prince [[Doran Martell]] his [[Elia Martell|sister]]'s killer and Prince [[Tommen Baratheon|Tommen]] as a ward.
  
 
==Synopsis==
 
==Synopsis==
[[Tyrion Lannister|Tyrion]] is having breakfast with Grand Maester [[Pycelle]]. Tyrion to send the serving girl away, and hands him two sealed letters to send by his swiftest bird to Prince [[Doran Martell]]’s eyes only. He continues by stating that he is to send them now, breakfast will wait, but [[Renly Baratheon]] is leading his host up the [[Roseroad]], while no one knows when [[Stannis Baratheon]] will sail from [[Dragonstone]]. The maester ponderously moves to do Tyrion’s bidding. As he moves, Tyrion notes that his chain consists of a dozen maester chains intertwined with gemstones. Almost all the links are precious metals and few are baser metals. Tyrion has plenty of time to finish several items of his breakfast before he sees the ravens fling. He then inspects the maester’s well-organized potions. Among them he spies a small dusty bottle on a high shelf and takes it. He is back at the table and is eating another egg when the maester returns. Pycelle asks about the message, and Tyrion tells him it is best to keep it secret, and when Pycelle brings up the [[Small Council]], Tyrion states that the council is there to advise the King, who is 13 years old. When asked about the queen, Tyrion states she has great weight upon her shoulders. Pycelle and Tyrion then exchange out all sorts of compliments about her, and Pycelle finally agree that it is best not to add to her burdens. Tyrion then tells Pycelle that he wants to know as soon as a response is received, and he is the only one to know. As he is descibing Cersei as frail, Tyrion thinks about what [[Eddard Stark]] would think of calling her frail.
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During breakfast, [[Tyrion Lannister|Tyrion]] asks [[Grand Maester]] [[Pycelle]] to send his serving girl away and hands him two sealed copies of a secret letter for Prince [[Doran Martell]]. He insists Pycelle send his swiftest birds immediately; breakfast will keep, but the realm may not with Lord [[Renly Baratheon]] leading his host up the [[roseroad]], and no one knowing when Lord [[Stannis Baratheon]] will sail from [[Dragonstone]]. Pycelle moves ponderously to obey, and Tyrion notes that his [[maester]]'s chain is far more ornate than the standard.  
  
Tryion waddles to the baily where he finds [[Bronn]]. Tyrion notes to Bronn that paid no attention to a couple of pretty serving girls, instead he watching is watching the men at arms practice. He replies that there are a hundred whorehouses in the city, and his vigilance could save Tyrion’s life. Bronn points out how the best of those practicing repeats the same series of strokes, which would make it easy for Bronn to beat. Then Bronn informs Tyron that Lady [[Tanda Stokeworth]]’s page had arrived with an invitation to dinner; she thinks Tyrion would be the perfect consort for her soft dimwitted daughter [[Lollys Stokeworth]] and was plying him with food. Tyrion tells Bronn to send his regrets. There was also a moneylender from [[Braavos]] wanting repayment of loans; Tyrion tells Bronn to send him to [[Petyr Baelish|Littlefinger]] who will figure out how to put him off. A lord from the [[Trident]] wants recompense for the destruction done—he had walked the whole way; Tyrion figures it was done by Ser [[Gregor Clegane]], Ser [[Amory Lorch]], or [[Vargo Hoat|Qohorik]]. He tells Bronn that he will make time for him tomorrow and to give him good quarters, a meal and new boot courtesy of Joffrey. There are the merchants about the shortages of food (most of the food coming into [[King's Landing]] goes to the castle or garrison); they want protection since they are being blamed by mobs for the food shortages. Tyrion tells Bronn to provide the [[City Watch of King's Landing|Gold Cloaks]] that can be spared. Then Bronn tells Tyrion that there were Gold Cloaks in a crowd wanting to speak to the king; Tyrion thinks they are fools since Joffrey would send them off with whips and spears. Bron reports that Ser [[Alliser Thorne]] of the [[Night's Watch]] had arrived with a rotten hand; Tyrion remembers meeting him, and liking him the least of anyone at [[The Wall]]. Tyrion states he does not want to meet with the man and to find him a dirty cell.
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[[File:Mad4gamestyle Insidious Ways.JPG|thumb|280px|left|Tyrion inspects Pycelle's potions- by Tiziano Baracchi©]]
  
Tyrion immediately leaves to join his sister with a large party including Ser [[Boros Blount]] of the Kingsguard, Ser [[Balon Swann]], the wheezing Lord [[Gyles Rosby]], [[Hallyne]] of the Alchemists’ Guild, their cousin and Cersei’s new favorite Ser [[Lancel Lannister]], and [[Vylarr]] and twenty guardsmen; Cersei is pleasant but had not liked what Tyrion had done to [Janos Slynt]]. Cersei informs him that she is review the defences in light of Renly marching from [[Highgarden]]. Cersei states he could be there by the full moon, and Tyrion responds that he is going slowly because he has a feast at a different castle every night. When Tyrion seems little concerned about the men rallying to Renly, Cersie calls him a little fool since Renly has the power of [[Storm's End]] and Highgarden behind him. Tyrion’s response is that it was ashame she let the [[Loras Tyrell|Knight of Flowers]] slip away, and that Renly has other concerns including [[Robb Stark]] at [[Riverrun]] and [[Tywin Lannister]] at [[Harrenhal]], and that Tyrion would do the same, flaunt his power; if either Robb defeats Tywin the south will fall into his hands. If Tywin defeats Robb, Renly can fall on the weakened Lannister host. Cersei nest demands that Tyrion bring Tywin’s host to King’s Landing, and Tyrion states that neither one of them has ever made Tywin do anything. Ignoring this answer she asks what he is doing about [[Jaime Lannister]]; Jaime is worth 100 of Tyrion. Tyrion implores Cersei not to tell [[Catelyn Tully|Catelyn]] since they do not have 100 of him to trade. Flustered with Tyrion, and stating he is worse than useless, Cersei leaves.
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Tyrion has plenty of time to finish part of his breakfast before he sees the ravens take off. He then inspects Pycelle's well-organized potions and steals a small bottle from the high shelf. He is back eating when the maester returns to inquire about the message, but Tyrion insists it is best kept a secret. When Pycelle suggests bringing the matter to the [[small council]], Tyrion replies that the council exists to advise King [[Joffrey Baratheon|Joffrey]], who is only thirteen. When ascked about the queen, Tyrion replies that [[Cersei Lannister|Cersei]] carries a great weight already and Pycelle reluctantly agrees it is best not to add to her burden, given the frailty of her sex. Tyrion wonders what [[Eddard Stark]] would think of that description, but says nothing and asks to be informed secretly when a reply comes from [[Dorne]]. As he departs, Tyrion thinks to himself, ''One''.
  
Tyrion thinks how he fears Stannis twice as much as Renly who has never lead men in war. Also the spies were ominously silent, and [[Varys]] reports from [[Myr]] of [[Mercenary]] captains taking service with [[Dragonstone]], and [[Lysene]] war galleys had been seen offshore. If Stannis and Renly attack together there would no chance for either him or Joffrey.
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In the lower bailey, Tyrion finds [[Bronn]] (who is now armored as befits his role as captain of the [[Hand of the King|Hand]]'s guard) watching the men-at-arms practice. He jokingly notes that Bronn is paying no attention to a pair of pretty serving girls. Bronn replies that he can buy all the sex he wants, but one day his vigilance could save his life. He points out that the [[hedge knight]] named Ser [[Tallad]] is the best, but he falls into a rhythm that will be his death when he faces Bronn.
  
[Podrick Payne]] meets him at the door to his solar. The boy shyly tells him that Littlefinger is inside. Inside Littlefinger is watching Joffrey kill hares with a crossbow that are being released by a gamesman and tells Tyrion to look and that the hares are winning. After Littlefinger makes a comment about hares overrunning the castle and them eating hare for every meal, Tyrion offers Littlefinger refreshment and dismisses Pod when Littlefinger declines stating ”Drink with the dwarf, it’s said, and you wake up walking the Wall. Black brings out my unhealthy pallor.” Littlefinger makes a positive comment about Tyrion’s clothing and then mentions the Valyrian Steel dagger with the dragonbone hilt, saying it’s handsome but a trifle plain. He then asks if it is Tyrion’s who says no; Tyrion if infuriated because he knows Littlefinger knows, and Littlefinger thinks Tyrion cannot touch him. Tyrion thinks how everyone thinks Jaime is armored in gold (his armor is acutally gilded steel), but it is Littlefinger that is; 10 years ago [[Jon Arryn]] had given him a minor position in customs, and he had tripled the revenue. Within 3 years he was in court and master of coin and revenues were 10 times as great—still the debts had grown vast, but Littlefinger was a master juggler, and borrowed so that he could put the gold to work. Now it was his men in many important positions like Keepers of the Keys, the King’s Counter, the King’s Scales, Harbormasters… They were men of middling birth but very much more capable them the high born they replaced.  
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As they cross the bailey, Bronn informs Tyrion that thirty supplicants await him, including Lady [[Tanda Stokeworth]]'s page with an invitation to supper. Lady Tanda thinks Tyrion would be the prefect consort for her soft, dimwitted daughter [[Lollys Stokeworth|Lollys]] and is plying him with food; Tyrion tells Bronn to send his regrets. There is also a moneylender from [[Braavos]] wanting repayment of a loan; Tyrion orders him directed to [[Petyr Baelish|Littlefinger]], who will find a way to put him off. Another supplicant is a minor lordling from the [[Trident]] who wants recompense for the destruction done to his land. Seeing the value of a compliant [[Riverlands|river lord]], Tyrion promises to make time for him tomorrow and orders him given good quarters, a meal, and new boots courtesy of King Joffrey. There are also many food merchants who want protection from the hungry mobs who recently roasted a baker in his own oven for overcharging. Tyrion suggests [[City Watch of King's Landing|gold cloaks]], but Bronn notes there were gold cloaks in the mob, and the merchants demand to see the king. Tyrion calls them fools since Joffrey would send them off with whips and spears. Bronn also reports that Ser [[Alliser Thorne]] of the [[Night's Watch]] has arrived with a rotten hand. Tyrion recalls his distaste for the man, and orders him given a dirty cell and left waiting.
  
Tyrion then asks LIttlefinger about his being fostered in Riverrun and his closeness to the [[House Tully|Tully]] children. Littlefinger now claims to have both girl’s maidenhead, which Tyrion is sure is a lie, but a smooth lie. Tyrion then then tells that Lord [[Hoster Tully]]’s daughters do not love him and would not listen to any proposal from him, but from Littlefinger… Littlefinger states that Lysa is the more tractable, and has problems like the [[Mountain clans]] being more aggressive and better armed; Tyrion knows he is responsible. Tyrion states that if he gives her Jon Arryn’s true killer she might be more friendly, and he could help with the clansmen, but he want [[Lysa Tully|Lysa]] to declare for Joffrey and make war on the Tullys and Starks. To seal the bargain he would make [[Robert Arryn]] Warden of the East and seal the deal with [[Myrcella Baratheon|Myrcella]] as ward and future wife of Robert. Littlefinger asks what Cersei thinks of the idea, and quickly figures out the Tyrion is not telling her, and then asks what he gets out of the deal and Tyrion tells him Harrenhal, one of the richest plums in the Seven Kingdoms, and the river lords will owe him fealty. Littlefinger is suspicious, especially considering what happened to Janos Slynt. Tyrion responds that he did not need Janos, but needs him to deliver Lysa. Littlefinger tells Tyrion he will probably have to wed Lysa and to give him a fortnight to clear up affairs and arrange a ship to leave for [[Gulltown]]. Littlefinger then leaves saying it had been a pleasant and profitable morning.
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After Bronn departs to carry out his orders, Tyrion encounters Cersei and her retinue by the main gate. When he asks where she is going, Cersei claims she is going to inspect the defenses in light of Renly marching from [[Highgarden]]. She believes he could arrive by the full moon, but Tyrion assures her that Renly is traveling too slowly and stopping to feast and hold court at a different castle each night. Tyrion is dubious that Renly actually has the rumored 100,000 men, but Cersei snaps that he has all the power of [[Storm's End]] and Highgarden; only [[House Redwyne]] has held back, and that is thanks to her taking the twins [[Horas Redwyne|Horas]] and [[Hobber Redwyne|Hobber]] captive. Tyrion retorts that it is a shame she let Ser [[Loras Tyrell]] slip away, and points out Renly has [[Robb Stark]] at [[Riverrun]] and [[Tywin Lannister]] at [[Harrenhal]] to concern him. He adds that he would do the same as Renly: progress slowly, flaunt his power, watch, and wait. If Robb defeats Tywin, the south will fall into Renly's hands like a windfall, and if Tywin defeats Robb, Renly can attack the weakened Lannister host. Cersei demands Tyrion make their father bring his army to King's Landing, but Tyrion points out he has never been able to make Lord Tywin do anything. Ignoring this answer, she asks what he is doing to free [[Jaime Lannister|Jaime]], who is worth a hundred of Tyrion. Tyrion quips that they do not have a hundred of him to trade to [[Catelyn Stark]]. Angered, Cersei declares him worse than useless and leaves.  
  
Next Tyrion heads to his bedchamber to await Varys. An hour later [[Galt]] announces the arrival of a powdered man, which was much sooner than Tyrion expected. Varys tells Tyrion that he was cruel to make Pycelle abide with a secret. Tyrion refuses to tell Varys what the message was about, but knows that he has some plan to gain his allegence. Varys tells how Prince Doran hates the Lannisters and that he still morns his sister [[Elia Martell|Elia]]. Tyron states that he will deliver his sister’s after the war is done killers (Gregor Clegane killed her, her baby, and raped her). Varys guesses that Tyrion will give [[Tommen Baratheon]] to the Prince of Dorne since he cannot give Myrcelle to both him and Lysa. He then continues that Tommen is a good boy, and Tyron adds that if he pries him away from Joffery and Cercei he may become a good man. Varys adds a good king as a question, Tyrion replies that Joffrey is king—but Tommen is currently his heir. Varys complements Tyrions statecraft but wonders about Cersei’s reaction. Tyrion replies that what Cersei does not know will not hurt her. As Varys giggles, Tyrion thinks three.
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In truth, Tyrion fears Stannis twice as much as Renly; Renly is beloved but inexperienced in war, while Stannis is cold, hard, and inexorable. The spies sent to Dragonstone are ominously silent, though [[Lysene]] war galleys have been spotted and [[Varys]] reports [[sellsail]] captains taking service with Dragonstone. If Stannis and Renly attack together by sea and land there will be no chance for Joffrey, or himself.
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[[Podrick Payne]] meets him at the door of his solar and shyly informs him that Petyr Baelish is inside. He finds Littlefinger seated by the window, watching Joffrey kill hares with his new crossbow in the yard below. Observing Joffrey's poor aim, Littlefinger quips that the hares are winning and advises Pod to invest in pots since the castle will soon be overrun with hares and they will be eating potted hare for every meal. Tyrion dismisses Pod and offers Littlefinger refreshment. Littlefinger politely declines, noting that he has heard to drink with Tyrion is to risk being sent to the Wall.
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[[File:Mark Evans Littlefinger.jpg|thumb|300px|left|Littlefinger - by Mark Evans ©FFG]]
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Tyrion compliments Littlefinger on his clothing and notes his [[Valyrian steel]] dagger with the [[dragonbone]] hilt. There is mischief in Littlefinger's eyes when he responds that is a trifle plain and offers it to Tyrion as a gift. Tyrion refuses, infuriated that Littlefinger knows why he mentioned the dagger and is mocking him because he thinks Tyrion cannot touch him. Tyrion reflects that his brother Jaime is famous for his gilded steel armor, but if ever a man truly armored himself in gold it is Littlefinger. Ten years ago, [[Jon Arryn]] gave him a minor position in customs, where he soon tripled the revenue. Within three years he was master of coin, and now the crown's revenues are ten times what they were. The crown's debts have grown vast, too, but Littlefinger is a master juggler and borrows so he can put the gold to work. He invests in wagons, shops, ships, houses, agribusiness, textiles, and moneylending, and the [[currency|gold dragons]] breed and multiply. At the same time, Littlefinger moved his own men into place:, the [[King's Counter]], the [[King's Scales]], all four [[Keeper of the Keys|Keepers of the Keys]], and the officers managing the three mints are his, as well nine of every ten among as the harbormasters, tax farmers, customs agents, wool factors, toll collectors, pursers, and wine factors. All of them are mostly men of middling birth, lesser lordlings, or even foreigners, but far more capable than the highborns they replaced. No one questioned the appointments because Littlefinger is perceived as harmless without soldiers, holdings, or marriage prospects, yet Tyrion is unsure if he can touch him.
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Tyrion asks how close Littlefinger was with the [[House Tully|Tully]] children during his fostering at Riverrun. Littlefinger boasts that he took both girl's maidenheads, which Tyrion considers a very smooth lie. Tyrion explains that Catelyn and [[Lysa Arryn|Lysa]] would refuse any offer he might make, but they might trust Littlefinger. He adds that he hopes to sway the more tractable Lysa by offering her Jon Arryn's true killer. Intrigued, Littlefinger asks who, but Tyrion only says that Lysa would have to understand he only gives gifts to his friends, meaning she must first ally with the Lannisters. Littlefinger points out that Lysa has her own woes, such as the [[Vale mountain clans]], who are now more aggressive and better armed thanks to Tyrion. Tyrion promises to use his influence to call off the clansmen if Lysa declares for Joffrey. Littlefinger insists Lysa will never make war on the Starks or Tullys, but Tyrion assures him Lysa's power would only be used to oppose Renly or Stannis. In return, Tyrion will give her justice, peace, name her son [[Warden of the East]], and wed his niece Princess [[Myrcella Baratheon|Myrcella]] to little Lord [[Robert Arryn]].
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Littlefinger asks what Cersei thinks of the ploy, and laughs when Tyrion only shrugs. Then, Littlefinger asks what his reward will be, and Tyrion promises him Harrenhal and supremacy over the [[riverlands]] as their [[Lord Paramount of the Trident|liege lord]]. Littlefinger's reaction amuses Tyrion; by birth he holds only a few stoney acres on the [[Fingers]], but Harrenhal is one of the realm's richest domains. Littlefinger is suspicious, especially considering that [[Janos Slynt]] also received Harrenhal for his good service, but Tyrion assures him that he is more valuable than Slynt. Appeased, Littlefinger notes that he will likely have to bed Lysa again to get her consent and asks for a fortnight to prepare. As Littlefinger departs, Tyrion thinks to himself, ''Two''.
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[[File:MarcSimonetti Varys the spider.jpg|thumb|340px|right|Varys - by Marc Simonetti©]]
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Next, Tyrion heads to his bedchamber to await Varys. An hour later, [[Galt]] announces the eunuch's arrival, much sooner than Tyrion expected. Varys quips that Tyrion was cruel to taunt Pycelle with a secret, but Tyrion accuses Varys of the same thing and offers to tell him. Varys suggests his little birds may have already told him: Tyrion hopes to dissuade [[Dorne]] from joining another faction, even though Prince Doran's hatred for House Lannister is well known. Tyrion points out that much is obvious.
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Varys notes that Prince Doran is a sentimental man who still mourns his murdered sister [[Elia Martell|Elia]]. Tyrion reveals he has offered Doran a council seat and his sister's killer. Varys points out that Ser [[Gregor Clegane]] (who is known to have murdered Elia) is a Lannister bannerman, but Tyrion argues that Lord Tywin will agree 50,000 Dornishmen are worth one rabid dog. When Varys wonders aloud what might happen if Doran demands the blood of the lord who gave the command as well, Tyrion blames Robert Baratheon since it was his rebellion. Varys points out Robert was not at King's Landing, but Tyrion replies that neither was Doran Martell.
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Varys notes that Doran will want a token of good faith as well, and asks who Tyrion will offer. Tyrion turns the question back on Varys, who declares it must be [[Tommen Baratheon|Tommen]] since Tyrion cannot offer Myrcella to Doran Martell and Lysa Arryn both. Varys' uncanny knowledge leads Tyrion to quip that he cheats at guessing games. Varys calls Tommen a good boy, and Tyrion comments that he might even grow into a good man if they get him away from Cersei and Joffrey soon enough. Varys acts suspicious that Tyrion might mean to make Tommen king, but Tyrion insists Joffrey is king. Varys points out there is a flaw in the scheme named Cersei, who will never consent to part with both Tommen ''and'' Myrcella. Tyrion says what Cersei does not know will not hurt him. When Varys asks what will happen if she does learn of it, Tyrion declares that he would know the man who told her to be his certain enemy. When Varys giggles at that, Tyrion thinks to himself, ''Three''.
  
 
==References and Notes==
 
==References and Notes==
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[[Category: A Song of Ice And Fire chapters|A Clash of Kings: Chapter 17]]
 
[[Category: A Song of Ice And Fire chapters|A Clash of Kings: Chapter 17]]
 
[[Category: A Song of Ice And Fire chapters--POV Tyrion Lannister]]
 
[[Category: A Song of Ice And Fire chapters--POV Tyrion Lannister]]
[[Category:Chapters which take place in King's Landing]]
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[[Category:Chapters which take place at the Red Keep]]
  
 
[[fr:A Clash of Kings, Chapitre 18, Tyrion]]
 
[[fr:A Clash of Kings, Chapitre 18, Tyrion]]
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[[pt:A Fúria dos Reis - Capítulo 17]]

Revision as of 13:44, 19 February 2021

Tyrion IV
A Clash of Kings chapter
AClashOfKings.jpg
POV Tyrion Lannister
Place King's Landing - Red Keep
Page 192 UK HC (Other versions)
Chapter chronology (All)
Tyrion III
Bran II  ← Tyrion IV →  Sansa II

Tyrion V

Tyrion meets with Grand Maester Pycelle, Littlefinger, and Varys in turn, and gives each a secret plan. To Pycelle, he gives a secret letter for Prince Doran Martell; to Littlefinger, a plan to give Lysa Arryn her husband's killer and wed Princess Myrcella to Robert Arryn; and to Varys, a plan to give Prince Doran Martell his sister's killer and Prince Tommen as a ward.

Synopsis

During breakfast, Tyrion asks Grand Maester Pycelle to send his serving girl away and hands him two sealed copies of a secret letter for Prince Doran Martell. He insists Pycelle send his swiftest birds immediately; breakfast will keep, but the realm may not with Lord Renly Baratheon leading his host up the roseroad, and no one knowing when Lord Stannis Baratheon will sail from Dragonstone. Pycelle moves ponderously to obey, and Tyrion notes that his maester's chain is far more ornate than the standard.

Tyrion inspects Pycelle's potions- by Tiziano Baracchi©

Tyrion has plenty of time to finish part of his breakfast before he sees the ravens take off. He then inspects Pycelle's well-organized potions and steals a small bottle from the high shelf. He is back eating when the maester returns to inquire about the message, but Tyrion insists it is best kept a secret. When Pycelle suggests bringing the matter to the small council, Tyrion replies that the council exists to advise King Joffrey, who is only thirteen. When ascked about the queen, Tyrion replies that Cersei carries a great weight already and Pycelle reluctantly agrees it is best not to add to her burden, given the frailty of her sex. Tyrion wonders what Eddard Stark would think of that description, but says nothing and asks to be informed secretly when a reply comes from Dorne. As he departs, Tyrion thinks to himself, One.

In the lower bailey, Tyrion finds Bronn (who is now armored as befits his role as captain of the Hand's guard) watching the men-at-arms practice. He jokingly notes that Bronn is paying no attention to a pair of pretty serving girls. Bronn replies that he can buy all the sex he wants, but one day his vigilance could save his life. He points out that the hedge knight named Ser Tallad is the best, but he falls into a rhythm that will be his death when he faces Bronn.

As they cross the bailey, Bronn informs Tyrion that thirty supplicants await him, including Lady Tanda Stokeworth's page with an invitation to supper. Lady Tanda thinks Tyrion would be the prefect consort for her soft, dimwitted daughter Lollys and is plying him with food; Tyrion tells Bronn to send his regrets. There is also a moneylender from Braavos wanting repayment of a loan; Tyrion orders him directed to Littlefinger, who will find a way to put him off. Another supplicant is a minor lordling from the Trident who wants recompense for the destruction done to his land. Seeing the value of a compliant river lord, Tyrion promises to make time for him tomorrow and orders him given good quarters, a meal, and new boots courtesy of King Joffrey. There are also many food merchants who want protection from the hungry mobs who recently roasted a baker in his own oven for overcharging. Tyrion suggests gold cloaks, but Bronn notes there were gold cloaks in the mob, and the merchants demand to see the king. Tyrion calls them fools since Joffrey would send them off with whips and spears. Bronn also reports that Ser Alliser Thorne of the Night's Watch has arrived with a rotten hand. Tyrion recalls his distaste for the man, and orders him given a dirty cell and left waiting.

After Bronn departs to carry out his orders, Tyrion encounters Cersei and her retinue by the main gate. When he asks where she is going, Cersei claims she is going to inspect the defenses in light of Renly marching from Highgarden. She believes he could arrive by the full moon, but Tyrion assures her that Renly is traveling too slowly and stopping to feast and hold court at a different castle each night. Tyrion is dubious that Renly actually has the rumored 100,000 men, but Cersei snaps that he has all the power of Storm's End and Highgarden; only House Redwyne has held back, and that is thanks to her taking the twins Horas and Hobber captive. Tyrion retorts that it is a shame she let Ser Loras Tyrell slip away, and points out Renly has Robb Stark at Riverrun and Tywin Lannister at Harrenhal to concern him. He adds that he would do the same as Renly: progress slowly, flaunt his power, watch, and wait. If Robb defeats Tywin, the south will fall into Renly's hands like a windfall, and if Tywin defeats Robb, Renly can attack the weakened Lannister host. Cersei demands Tyrion make their father bring his army to King's Landing, but Tyrion points out he has never been able to make Lord Tywin do anything. Ignoring this answer, she asks what he is doing to free Jaime, who is worth a hundred of Tyrion. Tyrion quips that they do not have a hundred of him to trade to Catelyn Stark. Angered, Cersei declares him worse than useless and leaves.

In truth, Tyrion fears Stannis twice as much as Renly; Renly is beloved but inexperienced in war, while Stannis is cold, hard, and inexorable. The spies sent to Dragonstone are ominously silent, though Lysene war galleys have been spotted and Varys reports sellsail captains taking service with Dragonstone. If Stannis and Renly attack together by sea and land there will be no chance for Joffrey, or himself.

Podrick Payne meets him at the door of his solar and shyly informs him that Petyr Baelish is inside. He finds Littlefinger seated by the window, watching Joffrey kill hares with his new crossbow in the yard below. Observing Joffrey's poor aim, Littlefinger quips that the hares are winning and advises Pod to invest in pots since the castle will soon be overrun with hares and they will be eating potted hare for every meal. Tyrion dismisses Pod and offers Littlefinger refreshment. Littlefinger politely declines, noting that he has heard to drink with Tyrion is to risk being sent to the Wall.

Littlefinger - by Mark Evans ©FFG

Tyrion compliments Littlefinger on his clothing and notes his Valyrian steel dagger with the dragonbone hilt. There is mischief in Littlefinger's eyes when he responds that is a trifle plain and offers it to Tyrion as a gift. Tyrion refuses, infuriated that Littlefinger knows why he mentioned the dagger and is mocking him because he thinks Tyrion cannot touch him. Tyrion reflects that his brother Jaime is famous for his gilded steel armor, but if ever a man truly armored himself in gold it is Littlefinger. Ten years ago, Jon Arryn gave him a minor position in customs, where he soon tripled the revenue. Within three years he was master of coin, and now the crown's revenues are ten times what they were. The crown's debts have grown vast, too, but Littlefinger is a master juggler and borrows so he can put the gold to work. He invests in wagons, shops, ships, houses, agribusiness, textiles, and moneylending, and the gold dragons breed and multiply. At the same time, Littlefinger moved his own men into place:, the King's Counter, the King's Scales, all four Keepers of the Keys, and the officers managing the three mints are his, as well nine of every ten among as the harbormasters, tax farmers, customs agents, wool factors, toll collectors, pursers, and wine factors. All of them are mostly men of middling birth, lesser lordlings, or even foreigners, but far more capable than the highborns they replaced. No one questioned the appointments because Littlefinger is perceived as harmless without soldiers, holdings, or marriage prospects, yet Tyrion is unsure if he can touch him.

Tyrion asks how close Littlefinger was with the Tully children during his fostering at Riverrun. Littlefinger boasts that he took both girl's maidenheads, which Tyrion considers a very smooth lie. Tyrion explains that Catelyn and Lysa would refuse any offer he might make, but they might trust Littlefinger. He adds that he hopes to sway the more tractable Lysa by offering her Jon Arryn's true killer. Intrigued, Littlefinger asks who, but Tyrion only says that Lysa would have to understand he only gives gifts to his friends, meaning she must first ally with the Lannisters. Littlefinger points out that Lysa has her own woes, such as the Vale mountain clans, who are now more aggressive and better armed thanks to Tyrion. Tyrion promises to use his influence to call off the clansmen if Lysa declares for Joffrey. Littlefinger insists Lysa will never make war on the Starks or Tullys, but Tyrion assures him Lysa's power would only be used to oppose Renly or Stannis. In return, Tyrion will give her justice, peace, name her son Warden of the East, and wed his niece Princess Myrcella to little Lord Robert Arryn.

Littlefinger asks what Cersei thinks of the ploy, and laughs when Tyrion only shrugs. Then, Littlefinger asks what his reward will be, and Tyrion promises him Harrenhal and supremacy over the riverlands as their liege lord. Littlefinger's reaction amuses Tyrion; by birth he holds only a few stoney acres on the Fingers, but Harrenhal is one of the realm's richest domains. Littlefinger is suspicious, especially considering that Janos Slynt also received Harrenhal for his good service, but Tyrion assures him that he is more valuable than Slynt. Appeased, Littlefinger notes that he will likely have to bed Lysa again to get her consent and asks for a fortnight to prepare. As Littlefinger departs, Tyrion thinks to himself, Two.

Varys - by Marc Simonetti©

Next, Tyrion heads to his bedchamber to await Varys. An hour later, Galt announces the eunuch's arrival, much sooner than Tyrion expected. Varys quips that Tyrion was cruel to taunt Pycelle with a secret, but Tyrion accuses Varys of the same thing and offers to tell him. Varys suggests his little birds may have already told him: Tyrion hopes to dissuade Dorne from joining another faction, even though Prince Doran's hatred for House Lannister is well known. Tyrion points out that much is obvious.

Varys notes that Prince Doran is a sentimental man who still mourns his murdered sister Elia. Tyrion reveals he has offered Doran a council seat and his sister's killer. Varys points out that Ser Gregor Clegane (who is known to have murdered Elia) is a Lannister bannerman, but Tyrion argues that Lord Tywin will agree 50,000 Dornishmen are worth one rabid dog. When Varys wonders aloud what might happen if Doran demands the blood of the lord who gave the command as well, Tyrion blames Robert Baratheon since it was his rebellion. Varys points out Robert was not at King's Landing, but Tyrion replies that neither was Doran Martell.

Varys notes that Doran will want a token of good faith as well, and asks who Tyrion will offer. Tyrion turns the question back on Varys, who declares it must be Tommen since Tyrion cannot offer Myrcella to Doran Martell and Lysa Arryn both. Varys' uncanny knowledge leads Tyrion to quip that he cheats at guessing games. Varys calls Tommen a good boy, and Tyrion comments that he might even grow into a good man if they get him away from Cersei and Joffrey soon enough. Varys acts suspicious that Tyrion might mean to make Tommen king, but Tyrion insists Joffrey is king. Varys points out there is a flaw in the scheme named Cersei, who will never consent to part with both Tommen and Myrcella. Tyrion says what Cersei does not know will not hurt him. When Varys asks what will happen if she does learn of it, Tyrion declares that he would know the man who told her to be his certain enemy. When Varys giggles at that, Tyrion thinks to himself, Three.

References and Notes